Little Dick Gallery of Shame

I have a thing for cocks.  And, whatever they tell you to the contrary, girls are very visual creatures.   I love the sight of a really luscious dick as it stiffens and unfolds: the way the wrinkles smooth out and the head pops up.  I can actually close my eyes and flip through a little mental slideshow of all the best ones I've fucked, like a parade of champions.

But I can also see all the useless mini pricks, too.  The also-rans who came to me for attention, hoping desperately for some kind of rags-to-riches story where the poor, malnourished little vagrant hits it big.  Or, you know, the shrivelly little loser gets the hot girl.

But I don't do charity fucks.

I love sex and I'm damn good at it.  It would be an injustice to waste myself on someone who can't hold up his end of the bargain.  I have high standards so naturally there has been a long line of rejects.  Curious where you'd line up in the ranks?


Little Dick Tip #2:   Spend 10 minutes each day trying to stretch your dick.  Methods vary and you can call me for specific suggestions.  But it's important that you're diligent and dedicate yourself to it.  Measure yourself after each session to check for improvement.  Of course it won't work. But despair is good for the little dick soul. 


~ Audrey (866) 992-3258 ~

Little Dick Training School

I prefer my cocks big and thick and pulsing, the kind that can stretch my pussy open, make me gasp, moan, scream and still wake up the next day craving more. In a perfect world, I could spend all day focusing on the sexy, monster cocks of my dreams.

But the world isn't perfect, is it? It's got swarms of little dick losers fluttering around, clamoring for the attention of ladies who are way out of their league (like me)!  Some of them don't even know how thoroughly inadequate they are and how unpleasant (not to mention comical!) it is when they try to inflict their squishy, stubby, sad little pricks upon us.

But I aim to fix that.

I'm making it my mission to try to educate the wee ones, help them understand their place, institute some kind of new world order where those guys only get to cum after they've done something to contribute to the pleasure of a hot girl.  (I know, I'm like Mother Teresa, only sexier). And, since they can't contribute to our pleasure the old-fashioned way, we have to be a little more creative.

I'm now offering personalized tutorials and regimens for paltry-pricked boys and dickless bitches.  To get started today, call 866-992-3258 & ask for Audrey. Also, keep an eye on this blog, where I'll be posting helpful hints, extra credit assignments and perhaps even some props for those who embrace my program wholeheartedly.

Little Dick Tip #1:  Your crotch area should not have pubic hair.  Mini dicks can easily get lost in there!  Smooth, bald and babyish looking. That's the ticket!


~ Audrey ~